Please Don't Eat The Daisies
by Sparklystuff
Summary: Tonks defends her husband from a pesky neighbor. RT oneshot, postDH.


**Disclaimer: **Yes, yes, they belong to JKR. I make no money off of this. My credit card bills, let me show you them.**   
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**A/N:** I wrote this for rtchallenge this past summer and realized I never posted it here. So here's a holiday treat for you all, enjoy! xx

**A/N 2:** No muggles were harmed during the writing of this story.

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Nymphadora Tonks Lupin squinted as the hot August morning sun hit her eyes. She had looked up from replanting some wildflowers just in time to find their old Muggle neighbor from over the hill marching up the walk. Mrs. Edna Finkleton was the village gossip and had already invited herself to the Lupins' small cottage for tea three times since they had moved in. 

"Oh, no," Tonks groaned as Edna marched ever closer in her polyester floral dress and fuschia hat. Tonks was smart enough to leave her hair a natural color and never use magic outdoors--no Wizard village would have allowed a werewolf and his family to live in peace, so they had chosen to quietly live in a secluded home close to a Muggle town--but nonetheless nosy Edna always managed to make this Auror nervous.

"Good morning, Dora!" trilled Mrs. Finkleton, waving a gloved hand.

"Good morning, Mrs. Finkleton," Tonks replied, not very enthusiastically.

"Beautiful Sunday morning, isn't it?" Edna asked, leaning on the fence that lined the Lupins' lawn. "I see you're doing some light gardening. I might do some work in the garden later, once the heat dies down, assuming my back pain doesn't flare up today."

Tonks nodded and smiled politely, and began digging a new hole in the dirt.

"How are my favorite newlyweds? Where is your husband, anyway? I haven't seen him in days!" inquired Mrs. Finkleton.

"Oh, he's feeling a bit under the weather this weekend, I'm afraid," Tonks explained. She dug at the dirt a little more forcefully.

Edna nodded. "Must be that flu that's going around; every year there's some new bug that comes during the summer. Just the other day my George was sneezing a bit more than usual and I insisted that he have a lie-in and take it easy before it becomes serious. At my old age you can never be too cautious when it comes to one's health."

Tonks nodded again. She really couldn't care less about pot-bellied George Finkleton, who probably acted sick on a daily basis just to avoid his nagging wife, or whether or not he was sneezing. She just wanted to finish sorting out the garden and get back inside.

But then Edna leaned in over the fence, casting a shadow over Tonks' daisies, and said in a concerned voice, "Actually, I'm here to warn you about something."

"Really?"

"I don't know if you've noticed, but recently some of the neighbors have seen some sort of large animal roaming around at night."

Tonks gulped. "No, I haven't noticed any--"

"Mrs. Brownstein saw it out her bedroom window last month," Edna added as if Tonks hadn't even spoken, "rummaging in her yard, and I've heard reports from the Greens and the Thompsons as well. I told them it was probably just a hedgehog or some other garden pest. But then last night, I was coming home late from bridge club when I saw it in my yard! Now I admit, I'd had a few glasses of brandy, and it was dark, so I wasn't quite sure what it was. But it was large, definitely some kind of wild dog, or deer, or--"

"Wolf?" Tonks asked weakly, in the back of her mind already choosing which memory charm to use.

"Possibly, yes, though I can't imagine what one would be doing here in Little Naughton."

"Neither can I," Tonks replied matter-of-factly, reaching slowly for her wand.

"So as I was saying," Edna continued, "I saw it digging around in my yard, dangerously close to my petunia patch, and unfortunately George was already asleep in bed so he didn't hear me. So I took it upon myself to get that beast out of my yard before it ate my prize petunias. Luckily, it was so focused on sniffing something on the ground that I was able to sneak up on it, and shoo him off with my handbag! _Like so!_" Edna crowed and wildly whacked her black patent leather handbag repeatedly against the fence for effect.

Tonks, whose eyes were now huge, put her hands to her face at the thought of this old bat beating poor Remus with her purse. _Remus had been soundly kept sane by Wolfsbane and was probably just minding his own business sniffing around in her yard,_ thought Tonks, shaking her head. Lately he had apparently taken to sneaking into places he shouldn't be, not unlike his Marauder days.

Mrs. Finkleton seemed to take no notice of Tonks' expression. "Well! A few solid thwaps and before you could say "RSPCA" he was running out of my yard! That'll teach that mangy stray!" She looked very proud of herself.

Tonks wanted to scream, but soon regained her composure and said seriously, "That was a stupid thing to do, Mrs. Finkleton. He could have easily attacked you."

"What?" Mrs. Finkleton's mouth made an "o" of disbelief. "Some mutt? All you've got to do is show it who's in charge, that's all!"

"You said yourself you didn't know what it was. It could have been something dangerous. Perhaps some feral dog, or wild animal, or even a werewolf." Tonks shrugged casually.

Edna stared at Tonks for a few very long seconds, than bust out with a hearty laugh.

"Oh, Dora, you are too funny! It's no wonder that Mr. Lupin loves you, with a sense of humor like that!" she chuckled, patting Tonks on the arm. "A werewolf! Or--or maybe it was a unicorn! Or a giant garden gnome! Oh, I can't wait to tell George, he'll have a laugh! A werewolf, really."

Tonks smirked. "You do that."

Edna shut up momentarily to wipe tears of laughter from her eyes, then after composing herself added,"So you really haven't seen anything?"

"No, I'm sorry, I haven't," Tonks replied, standing up and dusting off her pants.

"Wait a minute!" Edna cried. "You've been replanting all your flowers! That thing was in _your_ yard last night too, I'd bet anything!"

"So what if there was," Tonks replied tartly. "I'm not about to go smacking anything with my handbag."

"Hmph!" was Edna's reply, before declaring, "Well, dear, I ought to be off, I can hear the church bells ringing from here. Have a pleasant day, and give Remus my best. Tell him I said to drink a large cup of tea, with lemon and a splash of brandy. It'll help."

"I'm sure it will," replied Tonks politely, before pulling out her wand, and casting a charm that would ensure that from now on Mrs. Edna Finkleton would remember only having seen a large hedgehog in her prize petunia patch. Not that any of the Muggles would suspect that Edna could be telling the truth about a werewolf on her lawn, but Tonks wasn't about to take that risk. Constant vigilance, after all.

A few hours later, a still amused Tonks carried a breakfast tray up the stairs and laid it on the nightstand by their small bed, where an exhausted post-transformation Remus was sleeping. The sunlight from the window lit up his face. She sat down on the bed and gently placed a cold compress on his forehead, brushing his fringe out of the way. One of his eyes fluttered open.

"Remus," she whispered, a small smile forming on her face. "How do you feel?"

Remus took a moment to collect his muddy thoughts, took a shaky breath, then slowly answered, "I tried to bring you some petunias. It didn't work out very well."

Tonks' laughter could be heard down the street.

_fin_


End file.
